...parents whose tiny tots are eager to see this movie ought to know what's in store for them. Here there be monsters. And not the happy, fluffy Pixar kind either; not even the scary but relatively agreeable skeletons from the first Pirates movie. This time around, they're the stuff of real nightmares: oozy Lovecraftian terrors borne in dark drowned places undisturbed by the tread of man. They scuttle with alien purpose across landscapes doused in seaweed and slime. Their visages speak to every goose walking over your grave, every clammy hand on your shoulder in the dark, everything that makes you close your eyes and pray to make it all go away. While the special effects that create them are both impressive and believable, their presence is not for the faint of heart. Nor are the film's more mundane examples of depravity: torture, cannibalism, decorative body parts, and one Mickey Mouse-approved instant where a raven plucks a man's wandering eye from its socket. Rarely has the PG-13 rating seemed more extreme (this film really deserves an R and shame on the MPAA for again caving in like the tools they so clearly are). Moms and dads looking for a fun family outing should give serious pause before exposing their kids to these, the Happiest Old Ones on Earth.
Of course, since I haven't seen the movie, I can't verify any of this for myself. Kristin and I are definitely going to see it very soon after release, but it's definitely not a "family" film. You can read the whole review here.
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