Home Alone, Night One

Well, Kristin and Kathryn are safely in Iowa for the weekend. Those of you who know me understand that whenever I'm home alone, I get freaked out by every little sound. I keep imagining that there's someone creeping around in the house. It doesn't help that Kristin packed up a bunch of boxes for me to take into storage tomorrow. I keep forgetting they're there. They've already startled me once, when I went out to the front room to investigate a "strange sound". The lights were off, and all I saw were these shadowy shapes on the floor. I'd just finished watching the new preview for "Lady in the Water" and in that instant I thought, "Zounds! Why are there three big, square-looking hellhounds sitting in our living room!" Of course, once I flipped the lights on, I was fine (and the "strange sound" was just the sound of my green hat falling off the shelf onto the floor). But I've got my trusty wooden Excalibur with me, so I'm sure I'll be able to deal with any heffalumps that come my way.

Which reminds me of our Great Household Defender. Because Kristin's allergic to almost every type of animal in the world, we can't have a watchdog. So we've got the next best thing: "Big Momma." Big Momma is a spider who lives outside our front door. For the last two or three summers, she's done an admirable job keeping most of the insects outside, where they belong. The first summer we were here, everytime we opened the front door, a handfull of bugs would fly inside. That doesn't happen now that Big Momma is on guard. We have an understanding with her. I don't destroy her webs, and she stays outside and guards the door.

Unfortunately, now that we're trying to sell the house, we need to relocate Big Momma. She likes to leave the remnants of her webs all over the place out there. And though we've become used to her, most people would probably be turned off by the sight of her handiwork. So I think I'm going to have to break our side of the bargain. I only hope she understands why I'm asking her to leave. The last thing I want is for Big Momma to get angry with me...